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Mmmmm... Walkthrough: Level 3

Where is kamp krusty on simpsons hit and run??? This page contains The Simpsons Hit and Run, q&a, questions and answesr cheatsguru. 1.2 Importance of Gags - The gags were thrown into Simpsons Hit & Run as little references to the television show (as if there weren't enough references already). You also need to collect all the gags to get 100% in each level and the game.

Nerd Race Queen
Walk into the comic book store, and talk to the shop keep, as you are looking for Bart. This prompts a race between you and the Comic Book Guy. The race is fairly linear: you must beat him to the boardwalk/decks. You can easily cut around the corners of the track, but most importantly, turn right and go down the stairs after Wall E. Weasel's.

Just hug the sides of each of the turns; driving up on the sidewalk, grass, what have you. Whatever you can do to get by, do it. Towards the last parts of the race, there will be open lots to cut across, so do so. When you reach the huge ramp, go left and nudge the comic book guy out. Pass the finish line, and collect the comic.

You now have 1:30 to get back to the comic book store before the comic ruins! Hurry up and toe the line to get back to the shop. Backtrack, and turn right/straight where there are several options. From here on out, follow the green arrows to complete the mission, and hear hilarious commentary afterwards.

Clueless
Walk over to the arcade across the street, and talk to Milhouse, who hits on Lisa. You will have to follow Milhouse's clues to find out where Bart is before the timer of 0:20 runs out after you get into your vehicle, so take out the Malibu Stacy Car. Drive down the block, and hop out of the car to speak with Milhouse.

Your next destination is Planet Hype, down on the boardwalk. Follow the green arrows on the road as you travel to the left and follow the path. When you reach the Krusty Burger, turn left and follow the path. At the optional road, turn left again. Go left at the big ramp, and down the spiral road.

After this, get out and talk to Milhouse again. The next destination is the Springfield Sign, so you will have to go through the curvy boardwalk area without running many people down. Once you reach solid road, turn right at the first chance, and follow the path straight. Turn left on the upcoming turn, and follow the path. Get out and talk to Milhouse. This will complete the mission.

Bonfire Of The Manatees
Drive over to the inner-city Krusty Burger, and speak with Apu. You must ram Cletus's truck with the vehicle you've been given, and steal all 15 packs of Flatmeat. Start off by ramming him head-on, as you will come from the first lane straight ahead. Collect the package. If done correctly, you should be able to ram into him at least twice more.

Follow him onto the small highway, and ram into his bumper at every chance. Do not forget to pick up your packages after you get done bumping into him. Try to cut him off hard way by ramming into the side of his pickup truck whenever you can. After you collect all 15 Flatmeats in 2:01, you will have around 1:30 to get to the Observatory, which is (likely) behind you. Go inside, and chat with Professor Frink. This will complete the mission.

Operation Hellfish
For this mission, you will have to chat with Grandpa Simpsons, who is wandering outside of the Observatory. Afterwards, hop into a vehicle and drive to the dam (east from where you are), and cross over into the Kamp Krusty area. Hop out of your vehicle, and talk to Otto. He will sell you the School Bus for 300 Coins. Buy it, and get inside.

Your mission is to destroy the Black Sedans before the time runs out. Drive back up to the Observatory, and collect Bart's Hat in the middle of the road. This triggers a timer. A Black Sedan appears out of nowhere, driving towards the dam. Follow it, and crush it as it turns to the left at the dam . Bumper bump it a few times, and get it caught in between vehicles to execute the Black Sedan.

Our next destination is the Aztec Theater. Turn left when you get off of the highway, and drive down the stairs. Follow the green arrows on the road to reach the theater. Once here, a Black Sedan comes out from the parking lot, heading towards the boardwalk. Run it over on the winding path leading to the boardwalk to make it explode.

The next destination is Planet Hype, so ram the Black Sedan ahead with your grill. This is an easy kill, as it heads back to way that you came from. You can pin it up against the rail on the right as you drive along your merry way. After you make it go boom boom, the mission will be completed.

Slithery Sleuthing
Drive down to Mr. Burns' Casino, and hop out of your vehicle to talk to Chief Wiggum. Walk over beside the police car and 'get changed.' Afterwards, the mission begins. We must follow Snake and pick up three pieces of evidence against his case.

Take off once the mission starts, and follow behind Snake as he pulls out in his ultra-fast vehicle. He will drop the first piece of evidence right away, so be sure to get it. You will now have to follow in on a pretty obvious path that strings straight ahead, and turns right along this path.

Cut the corners of every turn early, and always avoid traffic. This is a key to the success of this mission, as Snake's vehicle is faster than yours, so getting stopped is inexcusable. By time you reach the gas station/stairs he will drop his second piece of evidence in an awkward spot.

Remember, try not to ride his bumper too much. If this is the case, you may likely miss a piece of evidence against him, which would be very bad. If he gets on the highway, and goes over the half-drawn bridge to release the third piece of evidence, you're out of luck unless you can hit the brakes right away and collect it in time.

As soon as you collect the three packages, turn around and ride back to the Casino! Take the stairs shortcut, and you should make it on time to complete the mission.

Fishy Deals
Call the Malibu Stacy Car in, and take her for a drive down to the boardwalk. Hop out and talk to the Captain. You will have to save all of the fish before the time runs out. Roll forward and collect the first fish (1), and go right to collect another (2). The third lays on the deck near the lighthouse (3).

Go straight, and collect four fish as you make your way around the boardwalk (4, 5, 6, 7). On the road, you can find two fish on the left side (8, 9) that leads into the Duff Beer Factory parking lot. You can find one over the bridge (10), and one at the bend in the road (11). Go down the hill and collect another fishy (12), then collect two more on the stretch (13, 14), including one in oncoming traffic.

On this path, you can collect a few more fish (15, 16) on the winding roads. As it becomes a straightaway, collect one fish (17), and one as you turn left to the dam (18). There are a lot of fishies lined up along the dam road (19, 20, 21), and the final fish is to the right (22), over the center of the half-drawn bridge. Collect it to complete the mission.

The Old Pirate And The Sea
Go back to the Captain and have a word with him. He will give you some information regarding Bart, so hop into your Mr. Plow from the Telephone Booth, and follow the Limo that has Bart inside! Ram into it head-on as it comes from the left, and then turn around. With how long and awkward the Limo is, you should cut it off into a wall to mess up the way it handles, and then ram into it from there.

The armor on the Limo is very sturdy, so try ramming into the side of it as it begins to turn. Remember, the faster you're going, the stronger the hurt! Try to remain in a straight line as you begin to ram, since this picks up the most speed. After the Limo is destroyed, drive back to the Captain's pad. Take a minute to cool off your Hit & Run Meter, if need be. Change your vehicle to the Malibu Stacy Car.

Chat with the Captain. He will explain that Bart was taken on a ship, and now you must board that ship. Quickly hop into the Malibu Stacy, and drive towards the green arrows. Make a right, and follow this path. Make a right after you reach the solid road, and go through the alley. Break the Krusty window, and ride up the ramp on the left side. Hit the brakes once you land on the ship. Jump out of the vehicle, and talk to Bart. This will complete the mission.

Princi-Pal (Bonus Mission)
You can find Principal Skinner on the strip in between the boardwalk area and the starting area, where all the patio sets are. Talk to Skinner about running some errands. The race begins to get those items, so lay rubber to The Right Fluff Laundromat. You can find it straight ahead, make a left, make a right, and follow the path. Make a right at the intersection, and collect the laundry.

Turn around, and drive back where you came from. Follow the path as you normally would, but go straight up the stairs once you come to that part. Follow the green arrows to reach the Krusty Burger in the nick of time. Jump out, and speak with the Squeaky-Voiced Teen about the meal. Grab it, and hop back into the vehicle.

As soon as you get through with this task, you will be placed with another! Backtrack and go to Mr. Burns' Casino. Do not take any shortcuts, as they could prove to me more trouble than they are worth. Drive up towards the hill that we came from, and park the car. This will save us time. Hop out and talk to Dr. Nick, and collect the prescription.

Now you will have to drive Skinner to the arcade, so run down the block and get into the vehicle. The only shortcut you will need to take is the one that is up the stairs. Drive straight into the arcade parking lot to complete the mission, and unlock Principal Skinner's Sedan.

Race 1: Time Trial
You can find Milhouse down at the docks with Gil. Just search around for him, he's easy to spot. I suggest taking the Malibu Stacy vehicle. You will start out making the rounds with a few left turns and even your vehicle out by tapping the E-Brake. After this, you will make a right, so ease up off of the acceleration, if need be. After a few more right turns, crash through the Krusty Window on the right .

Speed up to go onto the ramp on the left side, and zoom straight over the ship that is docked. You can access a lot of goodies on this ship, so remember this path for later. You will land on the ship, so drive off and to the left. This is your checkpoint. Do this three more times, and you will succeed.

Race 2: Circuit Race
You can find Nelson standing around the gas station near the starting point of the game. Choose the Malibu Stacy Car before the race, and then start it. There are several turns that are evenly matched here, although cutting across them saves a lot of time. The path will be a left across the lawn, straight ahead across a bumpy course, and in a complete circle. You will get to a point where you will want to go straight (down the stairs) rather than turn to the right.

When this part comes to, you will want to turn to the left hard way as soon as you get down the stairs. Best part of all? The other vehicles have a hard time making it through. Try using the E-Brake as soon as you land. There's your full lap. This is an extremely tough race, but you shall prevail after four more laps.

Race 3: Checkpoint Race
You can find Ralph outside of the Krustylu Studios. I suggest taking other the Honor Roller or the Malibu Stacy Car. Make a sharp right to get ahead of the turn, and ahead of most of the competition, as well. Make another rough turn, followed by a moderate left. You're now on the boardwalk area. Make a right, followed by another while watching out for the steps to the left.

You will now travel through the business district. Try not to get tangled up in the streetlights along the side as you E-Brake your way around the turns. You will now pull out of the boardwalk decks, and back onto the roadways. When you reach the circular road, go right and drive up here. Force your way through the corners of the roads to gain the advantage, and win the Book Burning Van.

Wasp Cameras

1: On the beach below the decks.

2: On the deck in front of the lighthouse, near the beach.

3: You can find a ramp near the end of the docks (where the giant 'Planet Hollywood'-esque globe spins, through an alley and to the right through a Krusty the Clown window. Drive up fast through the platform to the left to land on a ship in the distance. A Wasp Camera will appear as you land.

4: To the right from number 3. You can find the Wasp Camera near the steel stairway.

5: From number 3, go to the left instead of the right. The Wasp Camera will appear in the center, near the pole.

6: On top of the building to the left of the 'Planet Hype' planet prop, near the docks.

7: To the left of the blimp, inside of the Duff Beer Factory. Crash through the Krusty window to reveal its presence.

8: Underneath the Duff Blimp. From number 7, go through and to the right.

9: Underneath the Duff Blimp. From number 7, go through and to the right.

10: In the first movie studio on the left, inside of the gigantic studio center. Get out of your vehicle and walk in. Destroy it on the stage.

11: In the second studio. Get out of your vehicle and go to the left to enter the Springfield News set. The Wasp Camera will be where the newscasters are usually.

12: Near the Telephone Booth after the 'jungle' tunnel.

13: Near the front of Ye Olde Off-Ramp Inn, which is down slightly from number 12 (away from the tunnel).

14: On the Observatory ground, to the right.

Simpsons Krusty Gets Kancelled

15: Inside of Kamp Krusty, to the direct right.

16: Inside of Kamp Krusty, straight ahead from the entrance.

17: When on the dam, look for a part of the railing that is taken out closest to Kamp Krusty. Jump down through the hole, and walk out on the plank. Double jump to the platform below, and jump onto the water jet stream. This will send you up into the air, so hold right. Once you land, walk down the board, and destroy the Wasp Camera.

18: From number 17, walk through the door. Destroy the Wasp Camera afterwards.

19: Drive into the alley behind the comic book store, and you'll be on a rooftop. Hop out of the vehicle, and climb up the object on the right. To your right will be a Wasp Camera.

20: At the second Krusty Burger, park in the parking lot, and look alongside of the wall for Barney's Bowlarama. Jump onto the rooftop, and destroy the Wasp Camera.

Collector Cards

Angel Skeleton
Drive into the alley behind the comic book shop, and you will be on a rooftop. Get out of your vehicle, and climb up the object to the right. Once up here, go right and destroy the Wasp Camera. Jump onto the green rooftop in the background, and collect the Collector Card.

Bart's Soul
At the second Krusty Burger, park in the parking lot, and look alongside of the wall for Barney's Bowlarama. Jump onto the rooftop, and destroy the Wasp Camera. Look for the Collector Card on the other side of the rooftop. Climb out on the middle green spoke, and double jump to reach the Card.

Lisa Lionheart
You can find the Lisa Lionheart Collector Card by going inside of the lighthouse near the beach, and entering the door. Stand on the rail, and double jump to collect the Collector Card.

Lisa's Valentine
You can find a ramp near the end of the docks (where the giant 'Planet Hollywood'-esque globe spins, through an alley and to the right through a Krusty the Clown window. Drive up fast through the platform to the left to land on a ship in the distance. Drive over to the right until you reach a steel stairway, where you must climb up. Jump off to the left, and land on the red/orange seal where there are coins at. Walk around to the right, and jump to collect the Collector Card.

Lisa's Machine
In the first movie studio on the left, inside of the gigantic studio center. Get out of your vehicle and walk in. Climb up the ladder, and jump over to the wooden plank. Walk to the center of this board, and jump over to the ceiling fan on the left. From here, double jump onto the balcony, and go outside. Jump to reach the Collector Card.

Evil Braces
When on the dam, look for a part of the railing that is taken out closest to Kamp Krusty. Jump down through the hole, and walk out on the plank. Double jump to the platform below, and jump onto the water jet stream. This will send you up into the air, and you can grab the Collector Card.

Soy Pop
To find the Soy Pop Collector Card, drive across the dam (away from Kamp Krusty) and make a fast right. Drive over the half-drawn bridge, and hit the brakes. Get out of the vehicle, and turn around (facing the bridge). Look to the right, and you will see the Collector Card. Jump over onto the ledge of the rail, and double jump over to it to collect it.

Costumes

Cool - 250 Coins
You can find the Cool outfit inside of the Observatory or the Comic Book Store.

Floreda - 250 Coins
You can purchase the Floreda costume in the Observatory or the Comic Book Store.

Hockey - 300 Coins
You can purchase the Hockey equipment in the Observatory or the Comic Book Store.

Gags

1: The dumpster next to the Arcade.
2: You can find a ramp near the end of the docks (where the giant 'Planet Hollywood'-esque globe spins, through an alley and to the right through a Krusty the Clown window. Drive up fast through the platform to the left to land on a ship in the distance. To the right will be a gag that you can activate.
3: Inside the Observatory, check the 'Restricted Area' glass.
4: Turn on the light on the desk in the Observatory.
5: Check the monkey in the Observatory.
6: In the Observatory, search the telescope.
7: The animal head to the right inside of Kamp Krusty.
8: Inside of Kamp Krusty, search the flagpole.
9: The Wall E. Weasel building in the city, check the ball drop lever.
10: Once inside of the comic book store, check the Radioactive Man stand-up.
11: Inside of the comic book store, touch the robot.

In Bart's class …

Edna Krabappel: Well children, it's the last day of school.

Students: Yay!

Edna Krabappel: Here are your grades.

Hands Bart his grades. They're all F-.

Bart: Oh no, Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get a C average my dad won't let me go to Kamp Krusty!

Edna Krabappel:Well, it isn't fair to the other children, but all right.

Changes all Bart's marks to a C-.

Bart: Much obliged, doll!

Bart playfully slaps Edna's bottom.

Edna Krabappel:<chuckles> Oh Bart Simpson, I'm gonna miss you.

Principal Skinner's voice comes over the loud speaker.

Principal Skinner:Attention everyone, this is Principal Skinner. I trust you all remembered to bring in your implements of destruction.

Students reach into their desks and pull out sledgehammers, crowbars and axes. Nelson lights his flamethrower. Bart cocks his machine gun.

Principal Skinner:Now, let's trash this dump!

'Schools Out' by Alice Cooper starts playing. One student, Melissa, cuts a desk in half with a chainsaw. A world globe is tossed out the top window of the school and smashes on the ground. Students throw out chair and books from the windows and the roof, while Nelson sets them all alight with his flamethrower. Groundskeeper Willie drives his tractor through the classrooms and busts out the wall.

Principal Skinner: Somebody put a torch to these permanent records! Quickly now.

Bart is in a wrecking ball. He swings it and it crashes above the schools doors, crushing the Springfield Elementary School sign. The music stops.

Bart: la la la la la, la la, la la la la la, la.

Cut to Bart singing in bed

Bart: la la la la la la…

Homer: Wake up, boy.

Bart:<grumbles> Oh! I dreamt it was the last day of school!

Homer: Well it is!

Bart looks at the calendar which has June 12 circled, and all the previous days crossed out. Triumphant music plays

Bart: Oh, how do I know this isn't some beautiful dream, too?

Homer whacks him on the head with a newspaper.

Bart: Ow! You know, a pinch is more traditional.

Family's eating breakfast noisily. Bart's holding a pamphlet from Kamp Krusty. Marge sees it.

Marge: Homer, you do remember your promise to the children.

Homer: Sure do! When you're 18, you're out the door!

Lisa: No, Dad. You promised if Bart and I got C averages we could go to Kamp Krusty. And with no false modesty, you're looking at one happy camper!

Bart:<nervously> Haha. Yeah, well, just remember when you see my report card they got this whole new grading system this year. It now goes D, B, A, C.

Homer: Now listen, boy. We have an understanding and you better keep your end of it. I don't think I'd be any kind of a father if you got D's and I let you go to Kamp Krusty.

Bart: But Dad!

Homer raises hand to silence Bart.

Homer: Son! If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Homer looks at his lottery ticket

Radio:Seventeen.

Homer: D'oh!

Radio:Thirty-two.

Homer: D'oh!

Radio:Five.

Homer: D'oh!

Radio:Eight.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Radio:Forty-seven.

Homer: D'oh!

At Springfield Elementary, Principal Skinner's voice is heard over the school loud speakers.

Principal Skinner:Attention students, please clear out your lockers into the wastebaskets provided.

Bart opens his locker.

Bart: 36-24-36. Ha ha ha.

Bart opens his locker to reveal a complete mess. Mushrooms growing in a pot plant, an old gym sock hung up with pencils through it, bubble gum stuck to the wall, and old potato science project growing in a cup, and a variety of other messy things. Bart cracks his knuckles.

Bart: Now, let's see what we got here.

Bart throws out a banana peel, a gym sock and his slingshot before stumbling upon his gym shorts.

Bart: Ah, my gym shorts.

Bart takes out his gym shorts and hits them against his locker. They're stiff as cardboard. He folds them into a paper airplane and throws them.

In Lisa's classroom…

Ms Hoover: Here are your final report cards. I have nothing left to say to any of you. So if nobody minds, let's just quietly run out the clock.

Lisa's report card is all A's apart from a B+ in Conduct.

Lisa:<gasps> I've never gotten a B before. How could this have happened? I feel so dirty.

Lisa tries to get the dirt off her arms.

Lisa: The dirt's not coming off. <breathes heavily> Ok, calm down. This must just be a little typo. <giggles crazily> Oh, Ms. Hoover!

Lisa runs up to Ms Hoover's desk.

Lisa: There appears to be a mistake on my report card. You gave me a B plus in conduct?

Ms. Hoover: Now Lisa, everyone needs a blotch on their permanent record.

Lisa: Perhaps I'm not making myself clear. <giggles> I think you should reconsider.

Lisa presses down hard on Ms. Hoover's hand.

Ms. Hoover: Lisa … you're … hurting me.

Bart waits impatiently for Mrs. Krabappel to fill out his report card.

Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, in figuring out my final grades, I hope you'll note that all of my textbooks are being returned in excellent condition. In some cases, still in their original wrappings!

Mrs. Krabappel: Duly noted.

Bart: I'd also like to add, as I gaze upon your beauty, I've never seen an angel fly so low.

Mrs. Krabappel: Forget it, short pants.

Bart's report card has nothing but D- for every subject.

Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, if I don't get at least a C average, I can't go to Kamp Krusty!

Mrs. Krabappel: Have a 'D-lightful' summer. <laughs>

The classroom clock counts down the last seconds of class.

Lisa's classroom: Five!

Teacher's lounge: Four!

Otto: Three!

Wendell: Two!

Nurse: Don't open your mouth.

Milhouse: One.

The classroom bell rings. All the children of the school run outside. The school's large bell chimes. One of the school's teachers runs out.

Teacher: Wait a minute! You didn't learn how World War II ended!

The students pause their celebrations to hear the answer.

Teacher: We won!

Class: Yay! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Principal Skinner looks out his window at a bunch of kids trying to push over a Volkswagen.

Principal Skinner: Mmm, I haven't seen such unfettered hurly-burly since the fall of Saigon. Well, William. Another school year gone by.

Groundskeeper Willie: And may I say, a job well done, sir.

Principal Skinner: Well, back to work then. Make sure to give those toilets a good scrubbing! We want the old girls sparkling when I get back.

Groundskeeper Willie: Aye, sir. You silk-wearing buttercup.

Otto's driving a bus full of rowdy children home.

Otto: All right! Three whole months of Spaghetti-Os and daytime TV!

Lisa sits next to Bart who has a diamond cutter's monocle in one eye as he attempts to change all his D minuses into A pluses.

Lisa: So Bart, will you be joining me in the bucolic splendor of Kamp Krusty?

Bart: You bet. Check out this hand: All aces.

Lisa:<laughs> A plus! Oh, Bart, why didn't you at least forge plausible grades?

Bart: Oh….

At home, Bart watches an advertisement for Kamp Krusty on TV.

Krusty: Hi, kids! Only one week left to sign up for the bestest summer ever at Kamp Krusty.

Krusty laughs as he does all sorts of tricks on a horse. He leaps off and lands in front of the camera.

Krusty: Kamp Krusty is built on an actual Indian burial ground. We've got archery, wallet-making, the whole megillah. <laughs> And for you fat kids, my exclusive program of diet and ridicule will really get results!

A fat kid standing next to Krusty suddenly changes into a skinny kid, and Krusty is gobsmacked.

Krusty: And the best part is, if you come to Kamp Krusty, you'll spend the summer with me! Honest Injun!

Bart looks at his report card full of forged A pluses.

Bart: Well, here goes nothin'.

Homer's outside mowing the lawn. He mows over anything in his way: a newspaper, the hose, a ball, a doll. He mows over a roller-skate and the motor stops working.

Homer: D'oh! Stupid roller-skate.

Bart: Well, Dad, here's my report card. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Homer:<incredulously> A-plus? You don't think much of me, do you, boy?

Bart: No, sir.

Homer: You know a D turns into a B so easily. You just got greedy.

Bart: So I won't get to go to camp?

Homer: Now Bart, we made this deal because I thought it would help you get good grades. And you didn't. But why should you pay for my mistake?

Bart: You mean I can go?

Homer: Yeah. I didn't want you hangin' around all summer anyway.

Bart: Oh, Dad, you're the best father a boy could ever have.

Homer: Thanks, son. Now you've got little hands. Can you reach under that mower and pull out that skate?

Bart reaches down to pull out the skate but jumps backwards as the lawnmower starts up again.

Homer: Psh, never mind.

Marge hums while she packs Bart's suitcase for camp.

Marge: Bart, where's your bathing suit?

Simpsons Hit And Run Pc

Bart: I'm gonna swim nekkid!

Marge: You're what?

Bart: Ah sure, there'll be a couple of uptight counselors who won't dig the Bart philosophy but I feel the human body is a thing of beauty.

Homer walks in wearing nothing but his underwear.

Homer: Marge, am I crazy, or is my back getting hairier?

Lisa visits Dr. Hibbert before she goes to camp.

Lisa: Before I go to camp I'll need boosters for malaria, German measles, encephalitis, Hansen's disease…

Dr. Hibbert: Oh, now I'm afraid what we have here is an advanced case of hypochondria. There's only one known cure: A wowwipop. <chuckles>

Lisa: Don't patronize me, doctor.

Back home, the family is seated at the dinner table.

Marge: It's our last family dinner for six weeks, but I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

The family noisily munches their food.

Marge:<crying> Oh, I'm going to miss this.

Homer grabs a pickle off Bart's plate.

Bart: Hey! Hands off my pickle!

Homer: I don't see your name on it, boy.

Bart: No, but: <licks it>

Homer: Oh, yeah? <puts it in milk> Check…mate!

Bart: Always thinking two moves ahead.

The students are gathered around the school bus with their parents.

Martin Prince, Sr.: We'll see you when you get back from image-enhancement camp.

Martin Prince: Spare me your euphemisms. It's fat camp for Daddy's chubby little secret.

Martin Prince, Sr.: You promised you wouldn't make a scene.

Marge:<kisses Bart> Goodbye, my special little guy. <kisses Lisa> Lisa, watch out for Poison Ivy. Remember: 'Leaves of three, let it be.'

Homer: 'Leaves of four, eat some more!' <laughs>

The students board the bus.

Marge: Goodbye, sweetie.

Bart and Lisa: Goodbye, Mom and Dad.

Homer: Bye.

Lisa: I'll write to you every day.

Bart: Don't look in my closet. In fact, stay out of my room altogether.

Lisa: If the pets die, don't replace them. I'll know!

The parents wave as the bus drives into the horizon. As soon as the bus has gone, all the parents cheer. One parent pops some champagne.

Woman: So long! Don't come back!

A sign reads, 'Kamp Krusty: The Krustiest Place On Earth'. The school bus drives over a wooden bridge, which then collapses.

Krusty:<on TV> Hi, Kids! Welcome to Kamp Krusty! <laughs> I'll see you in a few weeks! Until then, I've turn things over to my bestest buddy in the whole wide world, Mr. Black>. I want you to treat Mr. Black with the same respect you would give me. Now here's Mr. Black.

Mr.Black turns off the TV.

Mr. Black: Thank you, Krusty, and welcome, children. I am Mr. Black, your head counselor. For the past 15 years I was president of Euro-Krustyland. Until it blew up. I'll take any questions you might have. You. And then, uh, one more.

Milhouse: Can we call you Uncle Blackie?

Mr. Black: No. Last question.

Bart: When do we get to see Krusty?

Mr. Black: Ahh, he will be along eventually. In the meantime, our counselors, Dolph, Jimbo and Kearney will be happy to handle any problems you may have.

Mr. Black leaves and all the students sit in silence, staring at the three bullies.

Wendell:<coughs>

Jimbo: Looks like we got ourselves a troublemaker.

Kearney grabs Wendell by the shirt and carries him off. At home, Homer sneaks into the bathroom where Marge is having a shower.

Homer:<chuckles>

Marge: You can have the shower to yourself, Homie. I'm finished.

Homer: Oh, no, you're not.

Marge: Oh….

Homer:<chuckles>

Bart, Lisa and others are shown to their cabin.

Kearney: Here's your cabin. If you don't like it, T.S.

Kearney opens the door and a chicken flies out.

Lisa:<gasps>

Kearney throws them in and slams the door. Inside, it's dark and spooky. A snake slithers between Lisa's legs and out the door.

Lisa: This is a little more rustic than I expected.

Bart: I'm not worried, Lis. You know why? Because of this: Krusty Brand seal of approval. You can only find it on products which meet the high standards of Krusty the Clown.

Krusty is busy looking at a Krusty the Clown clock that he should be testing. He touches the clock's head and burns his finger.

Krusty: Ow!

Guy: Oops! I shoulda warned ya. That clock gets incredibly hot if you leave it plugged in. Ha.

Krusty: That's okay. Ahh, all this stuff is fine. Now I'm off to Wimbledon!'

The students are gathered around a bonfire toasting pinecones on sticks.

Bart: Don't we get to roast marshmallows?

Dolph: Shut up and eat your pinecone.

Kearney throws a tire onto the fire and pours on some Gas. The fire explodes. Down at the river the next day, Kearney's trying to get Lisa to get into an old boat full of holes.

Lisa: Uh, are your sure that's safe?

Kearney: Well, it ain't gettin' any safer.

Lisa tries to step in but the rope breaks and the boat snaps in half. All the children gasp.

Meanwhile, at the 'Chief Starving Bear Weight Loss Center', the drill sergeant is trying to get the fat campers to do some pull-ups.

Drill Sergeant: All right, you balls of pan drippings! I wanna see Crisco coming out of those pores! We're not leaving until this Christmas ham gives me a pull-up.

The campers gather around to sing the camp song.

Campers: Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
By the shores of Big Snake Lake.
Though your swings are rusty,
We know they'll never break.

Jimbo: Louder! Faster!

Campers: From your gleaming mess hall,
To your hallowed baseball field,
To your spic-and-span infirmary,
Where all our wounds are healed.
Hail to thee, Kamp Krusty,
Below Mount Avalanche.
We will always love Kamp Krusty,
A registered trademark of the Krusty Corporation,
All rights reserved!

The bleachers creak, and break. All the campers fall.

Campers: Oh!

It's lunchtime, and Dolph serves a glob of grey gloop onto Lisa's plate.

Lisa: You're serving us gruel?

Dolph: Not quite. This is Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel. Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.

In Mr. Black's cabin, the bullies and Mr.Black sit back in their chairs, smoking cigars, drinking wine, and dining on mass amounts of food.

Jimbo: Yo, Mr. Black, another brandy.

Mr. Black: Gentlemen, to Evil!

Back in the bedroom, Marge is under the covers and Homer tells her good news.

Homer: Marge, since the kids left, I lost five pounds!

Marge: Oh, that's wonderful.

Homer: And look, new hair! I'm this close to having a comb-over. <meows>

Marge:<giggles>

Homer: Hehe.

Marge: Oh.

In Bart and Lisa's cabin, they're tucked into bed and freezing to death. Dolph and Jimbo open the door.

Dolph: Lights out, losers.

Jimbo: Yeah, we're meeting some tail on the other side of the lake.

Jimbo and Dolph:<chuckle>

Jimbo locks the cabin door.

Lisa: I feel like I'm gonna die, Bart.

Bart: We're all gonna die, Lis.

Lisa: I meant soon.

Bart: So did I.

Meanwhile, at Wimbledon…

Krusty: Mmm. Strawberries. <slurps> Ah, that's good. Hey, Lendl! Choke! Choke! Yeah!

Man:Point and game, Becker. And will the harlequin in the third row please keep his voice down.

Krusty:<laughs> Sorry, folks. <chuckles> Sorry, Your Majesty.

Queen: Humph.

Marge writes a letter to Bart and Lisa.

Marge:Dear kids, I hope this letter finds you well. We are doing great. Your father is in the best shape he's been since… well, ever!

Homer does one-armed push-ups on the floor, with Maggie on his back.

Homer: Size. Strength. Agility.

Marge:We miss you terribly. I hope these jellybean cookies will tide you over until you get home.

Kearney finishes eating the jellybean cookies.

Kearney: Hey, Simpson. Tell your mom her cookies sucked.

Lisa: Oh.

Lisa starts to write a letter back.

Lisa:Dear Mom and Dad, I no longer fear hell because I've been to Kamp Krusty. Our nature hikes have become grim death marches.

Milhouse falls down.

Milhouse: Oh. A snake bit me.

Kearney: Back in line, maggot.

Lisa:Our arts-and-crafts center is, in actuality, a Dickensian workhouse.

Jiimbo: Come on, wimps. These Gucci wallets have to be on the streets of Hong Kong by Friday.

Lisa:Bart makes it through the days relying on his unwavering belief that Krusty the Clown will come through.

Bart: Krusty is coming. Krusty is coming. Krusty's coming.

Lisa:But I am far more pessimistic.

Lisa, draped in a shawl, gives her letter and a bottle of alcohol as payment to a man on horseback.

Lisa:I am not sure if this letter will reach you, as our lines of communication have been cut.

Man: Giddy-up.

Lisa:Now, the effort of writing has made me lightheaded so I close by saying, save us, save us now! Bart and Lisa.

Homer:<chuckles> Ah, kids' letters from camp.

Marge: She complains now, but when we go to pick her up, she won't wanna leave.

The cabin roof is blown away by strong winds. Everyone clings desperately to avoid being blown away.

Bart: Lisa, I've been thinking it over. Next summer I'm getting a job.

Homer, Marge and Maggie are out having a picnic.

Marge: Oh. Homer, it's getting late. We'll miss the fireworks.

Homer: Marge, we've got all the fireworks we need right here

Homer reveals the picnic basket full of fireworks.

Mr. Black speaks before the campers.

Mr. Black: Well, kids, uh, I promised you a little treat in lieu of dinner, and here it is. The man who took an abandoned mule tannery and turned it into a summer wonderland: Mr. Krusty the Clown.

Bart: See, I told you Krusty would come. Just like I said. He he. He's gonna bring us food and water and smite our enemies!

Barney, dressed as Krusty the Clown, stumbles onto stage.

Mr. Black: Now, I must tell you kids, uh, Krusty has laryngitis and a bad back so he won't be saying anything, or doing anything.

Milhouse: Krusty looks fat.

Lisa: He's really having trouble keeping his balance.

Ralph: He's still funny, but not 'ha-ha' funny.

Bart: That's not Krusty the Clown!

Campers:<gasp>

Mr. Black: What do you think? I slapped a clown suit on some wino? <chuckles nervously>

Barney: Yeah, Bart. I am so Krunchy the Clown! <belches>

Bart: All right, that's it! I've been scorched by Krusty before. I got a rapid heartbeat from those Krusty Brand vitamins, my Krusty calculator didn't have a 7 or an 8, and Krusty's autobiography was self-serving with many glaring omissions, but this time he's gone too far! We want Krusty!

Campers: We want Krusty! We want Krusty!

Barney: Yeah, we want Krunchy! We want Krunchy!

The Simpsons Kamp Krusty Watchcartoononline

Mr. Black: I thought you said you broke their spirits.

Jimbo: We did.

Mr. Black: You broke nothing!

Bart: Let's get 'em!

Mr. Black: To the hydrofoil!

Bart uses an ax to open the gate to the 'Chief Starving Bear Weight Loss Center'.

Bart: My chunky brothers, gorge yourselves at the trough of freedom!

Martin: Ah, sweet, nourishing gruel.

Lisa gives out undelivered mail to the campers.

Lisa: Kowalski!

Kowalski: My brownies!

Lisa: Wiggum!

Ralph: A change of underwear.

Lisa: Crandall!

Crandall: My insulin!

Bart lowers the 'Kamp Krusty' flag and raises a flag saying 'Camp Bart'.

Lisa: Bart, you said you were gonna name it 'Camp Freedom'.

Bart: Eh. This has more zing.

The Queen is about to knight Krusty.

The Queen: I dub thee, Sir…

Servant: Urgent call for Mr. Clown.

Krusty: This better be important. <answers phone> Oy gevalt!

Homer and Marge exercise to a television yoga class.

Zadume Magarabad: Just let your head flop back and forward. Your neck is a well-cooked piece of asparagus.

Kamp Krusty Simpsons Hit And Run

News Reporter: We interrupt Zadume Magarabad's Yoga Party for this special bulletin: Krisis at Kamp Krusty.

Marge:<gasps>

Kent Brockman: Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them put together.

Campers: Burn, Krusty, Burn! Burn, Krusty, Burn!

Kent Brockman: A group of school-age Spartacuses has taken this camp by force. Three counselors are missing and presumed scared. What's that? I'm being told I can have an exclusive interview with the ringleader.

Homer:Don't be the boy. Don't be the boy.

Bart is the ringleader.

Homer: D'oh!

Homer immediately loses his hair and regains his gut.

Bart: I just want the whole world to know that this was a really crappy camp. <covers mic with his hand> Can I say 'crappy' on TV?

Kent: Yes, on this network you can.

Krusty arrives via helicopter and is swooned upon by the media.

Reporter #1: Is it true you attempted suicide when you heard the news?

Reporter #2: Are you and Princess Di just friends?

Krusty: You people make me sick! You're vultures! Where were you when I sang at Farm Aid? Out of my way, you parasites! I said, out of my way!

Krusty punches a cameraman.

Krusty: I'm no fake. I'm the real Krusty!

Lisa:Oh, yeah? Who played your daughter in the short-lived sitcom President Clown?

Krusty: I don't know her name, but she held up a liquor store last year.

Bart: I smell Bacon. Let's see if he's wearing a wire.

The campers start tearing off Krusty's shirt.

Krusty: Hey. Oh…oh…not the face!

Campers:<gasp>

Lisa: It is the real Krusty. Look at that pacemaker scar, the cattle-skull birthmark, and his famous superfluous nipple.

Krusty: Well, at least you're not as bad as customs.

Bart: How could you, Krusty? I'd never lend my name to an inferior product.

Krusty: Ohh, they drove a dump truck full of money up to my house. I'm not made of stone! <sobs>

Bart: Krusty, this camp was a nightmare! They fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!

Krusty: Oh, my God!

Bart: Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.

Krusty Simpsons Wiki

Krusty: Was it a nice hat?

Bart: Oh yeah.

Krusty: Oh, my God! Well, I'm gonna make it all up to you. I'm gonna show you kids the time of your life. Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on earth: Tijuana!

Kids: Yay!

'South of the Border' is played while vacation pictures are shown. The song continues over the credits.